Healing after a Miscarriage

Podcast Episode for this blog

Each pregnancy release has it’s own story, it’s on thread within the web of life. I refer to life and death as mysterious companions. One cannot exist without the other. When pregnant, lifeforce flows and illuminates the sacred womb, it nourishes the existence of another life. The journey of this soul may feel as though it is leaving too soon, before you have even met earthside. The heartbreak and yearning to hold and nurture this baby can be extremely painful if the pregnancy is released prematurely, dissolving dreams of being together in the physical world.

If you have not experienced spontaneous pregnancy release, it is likely you know someone who has. “Based on the current evidence, if you factor in fertilized eggs that fail to implant along with pregnancies that end in miscarriage, around 70% to 75% of all conceptions will end in pregnancy loss.” This study was based on women in early pregnancy, if the study had a wider range of gestation timelines, the percentage would drop dramatically as most miscarriages occur during the first 7 weeks of pregnancy, with up to 50% of them occurring during the first month. It is daunting to hear of such a high percentage and it’s true, we don't have accurate statistics as some mothers may choose to avoid the medical system, some miscarriages happen unknowingly and there are so many different variables, with each pregnancy to get a clear picture of what is presenting itself.

Pregnancy transforms a mother on so many levels, leaving behind an imprint that will live on. A miscarriage can leave a woman feeling isolated and overwhelmed with a storm of emotions, not to mention physically exhausted and even in pain. This is a time to release, retreat and regenerate. A time for pure alchemy that grief and loss can offer. A time to sit gently and patiently with everything that arises and allow it to feed your soul and heal you on an incredibly deep level.

When a soul enters your womb, they don’t come empty handed. They arrive like an old friend bearing gifts of wisdom. Not only to physically nourish and heal your womb but to offer vibrations of brilliance to guide you on your own mission. Rooted in unconditional love is trust. A trust that your baby came at the right time and stayed as long as it was required to. It had its own mission. And although the soul will never make its first breath earthside, it will be by your side in spirit every single day. The energetic connection between a mother and child is never lost. This is why blessing and honoring your pregnancy with a postpartum phase, will give you space to sit with grief and your spirit baby to receive everything that was meant to be seen, although in the physical world the experience may seem sadly short lived, on a spiritual level, the experience continues. There is a way to be with all the emotions without experiencing pain, there is a way to avoid disconnecting, distracting or denying the experience and I want to share that with you.

As you delve into this chapter, I hope you feel the warmth in my heart as I write this, and receive some downloads that will support you and/or a loved one at this time. Sometimes it is hard to articulate what has been experienced in the inner world, I hope you find the tools and practices to express in a way that serves you. This is a sensitive subject for many, I come with peace but also an intention to bring knowledge to bring miscarriage out of the dark so it can be seen and honoured.

Many mothers I have supported express a sense of guilt and shame, curious as to why a miscarriage happened. Could they have done something different? The truth is, the majority of miscarriages are caused by random genetic problems in the developing baby. Other causes may be:

• Uterine abnormalities

• Immunological disorder

• Hormonal Imbalances

• Bacterial infections

• Systemic disease

• Physical / emotional trauma

• Harmful lifestyle habits (Examples: exposure and ingestion of toxins such as drugs, alcohol. Pollutants. Unnourished bodymind and increased levels of stress)

Before 20 weeks of spontaneous pregnancy release is called a miscarriage and beyond that you will hear the term ‘stillborn’. Although medially all are classed as an abortion “removal or expulsion of an embryo or fetus”

• Spontaneous Abortion ~ a naturally occurring miscarriage

• Complete Abortion ~ when all of the products of conception have left the body

• Incomplete Abortion ~ when only some of the products of conception have left

• Inevitable Abortion ~ when symptoms indicate that the pregnancy is not viable and the body will expel it

• Infected or Septic Abortion ~ the endometrium and or the products of conception have become infected

• Missed Abortion ~ the pregnancy has ended but the products of conception have been retained within the uterus

• Stillbirth ~ pregnancy loss after 20 weeks

• Threatened Miscarriage ~ abdominal cramps with or without vaginal bleeding

• Blighted Ovum ~ when a fertilized egg implants into the uterine wall, but fetal development never begins, also called an embryonic pregnancy

• Ectopic Pregnancy ~ when a fertilized egg implants within the uterine tube or elsewhere in the pelvic cavity

• Chemical Pregnancy ~ a conception detectable only through hormone test, not through an ultrasound or physical examination, the cells of the fertilized egg have begun to multiply, but the fetal sac and fetus never form

Warning signs:

• Uterine cramping or full-on contractions

• Mild to severe back pain

• Significant weight loss

• White-pink or bloody mucus

• Prolonged brown or red bleeding with or without cramps (20-30% of all pregnancies can experience some bleeding in early pregnancy, with about 50% of those resulting in

• normal pregnancies)

• Passing blood clots or tissue

What happens next?

Expect to notice bleeding for 1-2 weeks following the pregnancy release. This may be a complete release with no need for further interventions. It may be an incomplete or partial release where you have not fully released. I will share ways to support your womb to release on a physical, emotional and spiritual level next.

Signs of an incomplete miscarriage

• heavy bleeding – get medical help if you’re soaking through a pad in an hour

• bleeding that carries on and doesn’t settle down

• passing blood clots

• increasing tummy pain, which may feel like cramps or contractions

• a raised temperature (fever) and flu-like symptoms.

What to do?

• Wait for a natural release. This is only recommended if you are not at any risk of hemorrhaging, you are at increased risk from the effects of hemorrhage (unable to have a blood transfusion, or have an infection

• Medical. A procedure that uses medication to end a pregnancy.

• Surgical. Using a vacuum to remove the contents of your womb. We will look at this more when we cover abortion in another blog.

You have options and with each you can get more information from Samathna Zipporah who offers an amazing online course to go deeper into ways to do this yourself from the comfort of your own home.

You can purchase medications if you suspect a partial miscarriage, it is the same pills as for a chosen abortion. Mifeprex (mifepristone) is used, together with another medication called misoprostol, to end an early pregnancy. Mifepristone causes hormonal changes that allow the pregnancy to end, while misoprostol causes the uterus to contract and expel the uterine lining. Medical abortion has a success rate of up to 99% for early pregnancy termination. Research indicates that it does not increase future pregnancy complications. It makes me think about countries wear abortion is illegal and the risks associated with accesses and taking these medications at home, in this article they share stories of women who are arrest in hospital during a spontaneous pregnancy release and accused of murder. We well explore this unjustifiable and inhuman article in more depth in the abortion section.

I have heard from so many women who were not given the correct information in hospitals and had to go through with medical and/or surgical interventions. It makes me think of the money the system would be making from the unnecessary interventions, when the release could have been honored naturally. In the US a woman received a bill for $40,000 for a complete intervention of pills and surgery!! Imagine if you did not have the insurance to cover this?

So, let’s reclaim our power through education and connection through the weave of wombs around the world, past and present. It feels to me like we are always left in the dark about the options we have when passing through huge transitional moments in our lives. Why are we leaving schools with blinkers on, not educated about our bodies and the rights we have? When it comes to the most life changing moments we may face, why do we feel alone and confused about what options we have?

Many women I speak to are left feeling isolated and incomplete following a miscarriage, when I ask about their healing journey it is almost non existent. The truth is, your healing journey can begin right now. Violated by the patriarchal society and left out in the cold to simply ‘move on’, now is the time to reclaim the postpartum healing you deserve. No one should ever touch you without informed consent and that also means giving you medications, examinations, surgery or any interventions in general without you fully understanding the full spectrum of what is being suggested and the possible outcomes.

Did you know Consent comes from the Latin word ‘con’ meaning “with” and ‘sentire’ meaning “feeling”. This is an agreement signed by all layers of your existence. But how do you navigate these situations when you feel so vulnerable? Try this simple acronym to guide you through questions which will help you to make space and clear any fog around the suggested intervention or decision.

B.R.A.I.N

This acronym assists clients in making informed and consensual decisions about their care.

B - Benefits - What are the benefits to going ahead with this decision?

R - Risks - What risks are associated with doing this procedure or

making this decision?

A - Alternatives - What alternatives are available here? What alternatives are there that might not be available here, but available somewhere else?

I - Intuition - What does your gut tell you? This may take some time alone or with a trusted one, still your body, feel and ask “what feels right?”

N - Next or Nothing - What comes next if we say yes? What

happens if you say no?

Reclaiming your Postpartum Healing time.

In the UK if your baby is stillborn before the end of the 24th week of pregnancy it is treated as a miscarriage. You cannot qualify for maternity leave or pay if you have a miscarriage. If the Support Through Lose Act becomes law, the United States would join countries including India, New Zealand and South Korea in offering some form of paid leave for pregnancy bereavement, which is usually around 3 days.

How can we make this shift when we are surrounded by the pressures of our society to bounce back and neglect our healing and grieving process? The coldness of corporate business and uncompassionate bosses molding our journey. You, your baby and your family deserve this time, it is crucial for the strength of your foundation as a tribe. Suffocating the voices of our wounds which will manifest in the future with unknown origins because they are so deeply buried in our subconscious. But without the knowledge and words to bring these insidious societal expectations to light, we stay trapped in the web of confusion.

Across many different cultures postpartum has been honored to promote healing on a physical, emotions and spiritual level for the mother and baby. Following a pregnancy release you deserve the same nourishment. I am keeping it simple here as I am aware many mothers will not have the time to commit to a full postpartum replenishment, but if you want to explore this more deeply, check out the ‘40 days after’ section.

1. Creating a sacred space

How can you create space in my day to grieve and heal?

This will be different for everyone, maybe you need to return back to work, have other commitments or you're a full time mum and you can only take an hour in the evening or a few hours at the weekend, perfect! Block off that time on your calendar and let your family know that you are using this time to heal.

As you surrender to this healing time, keep your intention strong by setting the mood, tuning into your experience, your womb and your heart. No phones, no interruptions, just inner sacred time.

Create an altar that you can turn to each day, place a candle, incense, crystals… anything that helps you to let go of the outside world and tune into your inner world.

Do you have someone you trust right now to walk with you on this journey?

Maybe you want someone to walk with you through these sacred moments. Maybe having a loved one close by is exactly what you need? Or maybe you just need someone to hold space to listen?

What do you really need from your support network right now?

Would you benefit from a doula or therapist? Maybe you would prefer to connect to an online community? Or maybe you can tune into spirit guides, ancestors or nature?

If you are supporting a mother, you can ask simply “How can I best support your right no?’

2. Journaling

Write down what is most present in your heart, mind and body each day. Just notice where your energy is focused.

Place your hand on your heart, take a few deep breaths and speak with gentleness to yourself. “You are not alone, I am here, how can I best support you right now?”

Whenever your mind becomes loud through these times, take out your journal and set it free onto the paper.

3. Healing practices

The body keeps score, it holds every experience within, and not just from our lives but our mother, grandmothers, elders and ancestors.

Somatic movement is when you become conscious of your whole being and allow your body to move in a way which unlocks tension and creates opening. Find a playlist you love or do it to the sound of your inner music and explore your body from the inside. You may choose to lie still and allow your breath to dance internally through your body, you might find yourself shaking, stamping, spinning…however it manifests, let it be just as it comes.

Belly Binding involves wrapping your belly to support you physically and to aid in the healing after childbirth. A long strip of fabric is wrapped around the belly from the ribcage to the hips. In Ayurveda, birth is known to create an excess of Vata, which is primarily air and space, belly binding helps to hold the space and nourish it with warmth. It can also speed up the healing of the uterus and promote the cleansing of blood clots.

Closing of the bones ceremony. In addition to honouring women during the sacred postpartum, the Closing the Bones Ceremony can also assist with closure after an abortion or miscarriage, to mark the end of breastfeeding, to celebrate menarche or any other significant rite of passage as it helps to close the old in order to give way to a new cycle.

Yoni Steam, see …. Begin steaming after the heavy bleeding has stopped. My favorite herbs are Yarrow Leaf, Uva Ursi Leaf, Shepherd's Purse Herb, Plantain Leaf, Rosemary, and Calendula Flowers.

What makes you feel nurtured, held and loved?

4. Nutrition

I will go deeper in this in the in another blog.

Bone broth contains vital nutrients for recovery and healing.

Seaweed soup In Korea, families often give seaweed soup, or “miyeok guk,” during the postpartum resting period known as Saam-chil-il.

Herbal tea. My favorites blend is nettle leaf, red raspberry leaf, chamomile oh and a dash of ashwagandha to help balance hormones

Stay hydrated, add a dash of lemon to help your liver metabolize the shift in hormones

5. Ritual and Ceremony

A ritual can help create a space to grieve and to find a way to continue the bond with your baby.

You may feel called to:

• Write and/or read a poem

• Do a naming ritual/blessing for the unborn baby

• Writing a letter to your baby and burying it into the earth.

• Offering your sacred blood to the earth. See…

• Plant a flower or tree

I hope this has brought some warmth to your journey.

Blessings,

Danielle