How to prepare your body to conceive

Preparing your temple

We hear a lot about ‘self love’ and ‘self care’ but what does that really mean?

Angelica and I speak about this in our latest podcast episode here

I’ve been working as a wellness practitioner since I was in my 20’s, intellectually I knew a lot about the human body but practically I was avoiding many enriching practices. I would follow systems from different philosophies around the world, handing over the authentic needs of my BodyMindSoul to an person unknown. I was offered a system, giving me a sense of purpose, so I could tick off my ‘self care’ box. I was mothering myself from things I had read or heard from people I was drawn to, but what did I truly need?

Motherhood has made me face this question, there’s no hiding behind books and beliefs systems. For one, I just don’t have time and secondly it feels out of line with my heart. I would beat myself up over not completing my Ashtanga sequence or not meditating for 60 minutes a day, before Auraya was born these were my anchors, a doing which led me to feel as though I was on the right track.

I used to call it a sacrifice, as I gave up one thing after another. I would cry to Ilan as I grieved for my old life ‘my freedom’ and the simple moments of just enjoying a lie in with a cup of coffee..mmmmmm

The truth is, as soon as I loosened up the ties to my old life, I became lighter, more glowing and more inspired! I became a creative vortex and my body felt stronger than ever. I wasn’t surprised, I had such a tight grasp on my past! As I listened to other mothers I realized this feeling of grief wasn’t only for mothers who had a unplanned conceptions but to mothers who had consciously conceived, this is a death and a rebirth of the self.

I wouldn’t say there is a magic process or set time frame to transition, but I would say that you are going to feel the resistance more and more as time goes on if you continue to hunt the ghosts of your past. Be gentle, be patient and know you are not alone.

Coming home to your body and nurturing your temple is the first step to merging with this new life.

Physical fitness

Firstly let’s figure out a few things:

What is your baseline fitness?

How can you support your pregnancy and labour?

Where do you need strength and where do you need to make space?

Starting a new extreme fitness regime is not recommended, but adapting with an old one can be very empowering.

Walking, yoga, dance, swimming, to name a few bring strength, hip alignment and opening when performed correctly.

Some days you will wake up and feel exhausted, now is the time to figure out if you need more sleep or maybe a good shake out.

Walking would always help me to reconnect to the fundamental needs of my body. Strolling through the forest, held by the earth, I would asked my body:

‘How are you today?’

Overtime I became familiar with my internal voice of wisdom, I could hear what would serve me in that moment.

Breathing with your movements and feeling the expansion and retraction is such a gift. When you are doing body work, take your time, listen to your body, feel each movement. Nothing needs to be rushed. We are carrying so much tension within our physical body, maybe it’s from a habitual movement pattern, trauma, illness or injury, a thought loop, disturbed sleep, food choices etc everything we do, think or say has an affect on the state of our body. Now is a time to drop into the gentleness of the feminine magic, this is a time for expansion and deep relaxation, as the body relaxes you begin to move into a more harmonious state of being. Creating the perfect home for your new soul.

For me, I was very active, and extremely passionate about sport. Boxing, triathlon, biathlon, cycling… you name it, I would push myself to the limits to learn the skills my body would need to perform the movement efficiently. After leaving the army I wasn’t so extreme but I was still very active. Through pregnancy I walked 5km on the beach everyday, practiced my yoga sequence and stayed very much embodied. Sounds great, but a lot of this was out of fear of losing my physique and my rituals which I believed we’re keeping me conscious and awake, I actually think my strength became an obstacle whilst in labour as my pelvic floor muscles were so tight! We will discuss this more deeply another time.

Somatic movement is a practice I would recommend to move more towards. Let yourself be guided by your breath and explore all areas of your body, start feeling your body, notice any areas of dullness, tightness, any areas which are hot, cold, buzzing with energy etc anything that calls out. Next intuitively move your body gently and lovingly to dance with these arisings. You may feel you want to bounce or shake. You may feel you want to spin, twist or expand. You may even want to lie there and breathe into different areas of your body. If you haven’t tried this before it can be very soothing to be guided, this is something I started sharing from a distance and it is very powerful. Being guided holds you in each moment, to stay with all that arises with gentle reminders to come back to the body again and again. Things will surface because the body holds all of our past experiences, from this lifetime, from our parents, elders and ancestors. With somatic movement you can get to the root of many patterns that keep playing out and you can begin to process emotions that keep you in a painful cycle. It is the most transformative practice I include in my day.

Nutrition

When it comes to nutrition, the simplest way I can cover this vast topic is to return back to nature. Eat foods which are salubrious, foods rich in nutrients, free from chemicals and additives and that make you feel healthy and filled with life and it’s not just for you, it’s for the man involved in this co-creation too! It takes around 3 months for the egg and sperm to mature, so giving this time to nourish your whole being is a powerful foundation for life.

Foods brimming with life force will share with you their wisdom to offer you healing and strength. We have been fed lies our entire life to drive us to purchase foods which give us moments of joy but even longer emotional and physical crashes. Even with this knowledge, give yourself a break from the societal guilt, the patterns and habits we have surrounding food are deeply ingrained and it may require a stronger intention to move towards nourishing foods. That is why pre-pregnancy is the best time to start reprogramming the beliefs you have around food!

In the past food was my comfort! I struggled through my early 20’s with an unhealthy relationship with food. Binge eating, vomiting, restricting and over exercising. It came up again for me in early pregnancy because I was craving so many foods but I still had that voice telling me I was going to gain weight and be unlovable. Luckily I had Ilan to hear the voices with me, we would listen together and he would remind me of my intention to nourish myself and our baby. It was tough, for the first time in my life my intention to protect and nourish my baby was stronger than my fears.

The list is endless when it comes to nutrients to support a healthy functioning body, but here are a few to get you going. Foods rich in zinc, selenium (wholegrains, fish, nuts, eggs, dairy), omega 3 (fish, nut, plant oils), vitamin E (Sunflower seeds, almonds, peanuts, spinach, pumpkin), Beta- carotene (yellow, orange, and green leafy fruits and vegetables) and Vit D (sunlight, fish, eggs, mushrooms)

Recommended Herbs

Ginger (anti inflammatory

Evening primrose (balance hormones)

Cinnamon (improved circulation)

Nettle (supports the toning of the uterus)

Red raspberry (hormone balancing)

Red clover (hormone balancing, alkaliser to restore ph)

Ashwagandha (remove toxins and reduce stress)

Maca (fertility super food, balance hormones, increase libido)

Toxins

As a species we are rapidly losing touch with our natural state of being. Externally we are being pulled in all directions to serve a collapsing economy and idea of perfection which is completely intoxicating.

You can blatantly see the toxins offered to us in everyday life; makeup, toiletries, cleaning products, perfumes, car fumes, medications, the list is endless. But there are many other hidden poisons that are leaking into our temple.

When we absorb a substance which is poisonous into our body we call it a toxin. Managing our external world to reduce exposure will support a harmonious and thriving body! Of course, it’s easier said than done, as we have become a costumed to the effects these products give us and the way they may bring a short lived ease to our life. Initially we may not see the side effects of our choices so clearly but as the toxins build up within us, they block vital pathways in the body leading to dis-ease and hormone imbalances as the liver is put under tremendous strain.

That leads us beautifully into… hormone imbalances! As the body works hard to remove these toxins, it takes it’s focus away the synthesis of excessive hormones which have built up in the bloodstream, the adrenal

glands become shot as they call in a state of emergency, an enemy has entered the lines and must be destroyed, the inflammation response kicks in and suddenly you are at a state of war. Help yourself out, check in with your choices and ask yourself very vulnerably what changes can be made.

Rest / sleep

This is the time to get all the juicy nourishing sleep that you can. It’s quite simple, the more quality rest you take, the deeper your cells will heal and rejuvenate! Different people need different amounts of sleep depending on their body constitution, their current state of health and their mental, emotional and physical exertion during that day.

How are your energy levels when you wake up?

Are you getting quality sleep?

Firstly, I would highly recommend naps if you can fit them in, this was always a tough one for me, even after Auraya joined us I resisted napping, my societal wounds ran deep when it came to my self worth being measured by my productivity. Now, I feel so smug if I get a nap, I can’t believe my whole life I’ve neglected this healing practice.

Secondly, check your space.

Can you reduce EMF in your place of rest?

Can up turn off the wifi at night, remove unnecessary electrical items?

Is there any unnatural light entering your room? This can seriously mess with your pineal gland, light inhibits melatonin secretion, that wonderful hormone that will move you into the dream world.

How comfortable is your bed? Do you need fluffy new pillows? Are your covers cosy enough?

Treat yourself, this is this time you will go into a state of deep healing on all levels!

Finally, create a ritual. Take an hour before you plan to sleep, turn off your phone, make a sleepy tea (chamomile, lavender), dim the lights, release your body with gentle movements, tune into your breath and give thanks for your day and the lessons learnt.

Massage

What better way to come back to the body than the intentional healing touch from yourself or a trusted other. I have had many massages and healing sessions in the past, sometimes I would be left with a bitter taste, I just presumed it was my process of healing deep trauma and emotions that were being brought to the surface. When I finally stepped back to get a better look, I realised I was handing my body over to people I did not know. Were they fully present with me in that experience?

Also, I was not being completely authentic within the experience, I became mute, I was unable to voice my preferences, leaving me feeling disempowered and neglected. When I realised this, I was liberated! As a masseuse and healer myself, I know how important it is to be a clear vessel during each interaction. It is an honour to cross the boundaries of another, I ask for permission to move into that person's space. That is where the real healing begins. There are many forms of holistic healing which can nourish you, each uniquely powerful. If your partner can intuitively guide their hands over you, this would be the ultimate gift for a deeply intimate and enriched experience.

When offering a massage to yourself, take your time and treat yourself gently and with compassion. No need to rush. Breast and yoni massages will awaken you womb-heart magic and fill you with the jewels of your inner wisdom. Take your time in a specific area with a certain motion, then change the speed and the rhythm, really feel the sensations. Throughout the practice let your breath be your guide. Breathe with a natural yet deep motion, let your body melt with your touch and let all be seen and all be loved. As you dive into the depths of yourself let the pulsing rivers pass through you.

Yoni Steam

An extremely powerful and juicy practice, I’ve written all about it in a previous blog.

I would love to hear your though

Thank you so much for reading.

Danielle